I’ll make it through the rainy days
I’ll be the one who stands here longer than the rest
When my landscape changes, rearranges
I’ll be stronger than I’ve ever been
No more stillness, more sunlight,
Everything’s gonna be alright

I know that there’s gonna be a change
Better find your way out of your fear
If you wanna come with me
Then that’s the way it’s gotta be
I’m all alone and finally
I’m getting stronger
You’ll come to see
Just what I can be
I’m getting stronger

Sometimes I feel so down and out
Like emotion that’s been captured in a maze
I had my ups and downs
Trials and tribulations,
I overcome it day by day,
Feeling good and almost powerful
A new me, that’s what I’m looking for

I didn’t know what I had to do
I just knew I was alone
People around me
But they didn’t care
So I searched into my soul
I’m not the type of girl that will let them see her cry
It’s not my style
I get by
See I’m gonna do this for me

 

Nadia woke up this afternoon around 2pm. She is doing okay considering, actually she is doing a lot better than we anticipated. She is, as can be expected, groggy and such, but she is talking and responsive and all of those things. She has improved throughout the day. She does know what happened but cannot remember most of it. She has not really spoke about it. She was confused when she first woke up, but this did not last very long... she was very glad that Nicky and I were there with her. She has not wanted Nicky to leave her side at all. She is awake, talking, responsive, aware of what's going on... and so this is all wonderful news.

 

Thank you all for praying for her. If you believe in prayers, then the many people all around the world she has praying for her have definitely worked. Please keep them coming.

There isn't much change today. Nadia is still in a coma. She is however, stable. She is no longer on dialysis, her kidneys seem to be fine, as does her heart, respiratory systems, etc. It's just a case of keeping the prayers going and waiting for her to wake up...

 

 

The above site was made by a great friend of Nadia's. Please do visit and keep Nadia in your prayers.

 

 

 

The above is a page I made for Nadia about a year ago.. the top picture is her with Kelsey as a baby, and the bottom with Frankie. Click it to make it bigger to read the poem.

I wanted to share this song & these lyrics. I have to say it was a current favourite of mine, but now it has a completely different meaning. Nadia had written the lyrics in full out on at least half a dozen pieces of paper. She had written countless lines from the songs on scraps of paper all over, even on her self. She had "this is who I really am" written on her hand. Mostly she had copied words from the chorus, "bury me, bury me", "you're killing me, killing me". The song obviously spoke very strongly to her, and in trying to understand exactly what was happening to her those previous few days, I am going to post the song and lyrics here.

 

_{[by the way.. my new side image is Nadia and I at 3 and 4 years old. She is the one on the right, in red.]}

 

30 Seconds to Mars - The Kill

 

 

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do? (Oh, oh)
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you (from you)

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

Ah, ah
Oh, oh
Ah, ah

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you.
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

Come break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)

(You say you wanted more)
What if I wanted to break...?
(What are you waiting for?)
Bury me, bury me
(I'm not running from you)
What if I
What if I
What if I
What if I
Bury me, bury me

I am going to keep this as short as possible. A lot has happened.. I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on.

 

- Nicky did NOT walk out on her, and did NOT take the kids away from her.

- On tuesday - with the kids at home, and Nicky just out to work for a couple of hours - she left the house.

- We did not know where she was until late wednesday night.

- We almost contacted the police, but fear of her never trusting us again stopped us.

- On wednesday night we got a call from a stranger saying they were with her and she needed our help.

- She had left home and gone to stay in some kind of hostel.

- She was very delusional, I guess driven by voices she was hearing, believed it was Nicky who left her.

- On wednesday night she took a near fatal overdose of drugs - both prescription and illegal - and alcohol.

- A perfect stranger who was staying in the room next door knew something was wrong & went to check.

- She called us and that's when we found her. If this girl had not found her, she would have been dead.

- She is in the hospital at the minute, very sick. Needed dialysis for her kidneys. Still not fully conscious.

- She should be okay though... but what happens after this we have no idea...

- All I know is the girl who helped her is one amazing person who I owe so much to.

 

You can contact me on yahoo messenger (kayleej2002uk) if you need to.